Oh my goodness, I'm finally pregnant! We've been waiting for this day for about 2.5 years and I think I'm still having a hard time believing that it has finally happened.
The past month went a little something like this: It was Thanksgiving morning and although I was enjoying all that God has blessed me with in my life - my husband and our funny little dog, our health, our home, our extended families - I remember just standing in the kitchen and out of nowhere I started to cry. Just silent tears pouring down my face. Bobby came over, saw my face, and wrapped his arms around me. He asked what was wrong but I really couldn't explain the complex feelings and thoughts I was having. [A longing for us to finally be able to conceive, yet a strong faith that it would someday still happen for us, coupled with the guilt of not being fully content with what I already had.] So I simply said "I'm just really emotional today." But I knew he completely understood what was hurting my heart because he just stood there and held me. But more so than Bobby understanding, God understood as well. Because He answered our prayers that day. We finally conceived our child.
Of course we didn't know it that day... so we carried on as usual.
But there was a new fervor for prayer inside of me. Pastor Bob had recently said something in one of his messages that reminded me that for as badly as I wanted to become a mother, I definitely wasn't praying and asking God as often as I should have been. So this past month I had poured my heart out around ten times per day -- Lord, please bless us with a baby. We want to be parents. We want to grow our family. Nothing is impossible for you, God. -- I did this when I woke up in the morning, while I was driving to work, in the shower, anytime during the day that it crossed my mind.
He answers prayers, people!!!!
sidenote: It's funny how the perfect song can come into your life at the perfect time. This song was on constant rotation inside my head this past month. It reminded me to stay hopeful because God is in control and He can do anything. The part that says "Nothing is impossible for you. You hold my world in your hands." still just makes me absolutely w.e.e.p.
The first sign that something was up happened on Friday, December 7th, 2012. I am normally the world's greatest sleeper. I get into bed and within five minutes I am sound asleep and out cold for the next 8-9 hours. It is glorious. However, I got into bed on Thursday night and my normal ease of sleep was gone! I woke up Friday morning (well, I can't even say that since I don't think I ever actually fell asleep) and I wondered "What happened? Why all the tossing and turning? Do I have a lot on my mind?" It was all such a mystery. And for someone who normally sleeps so great - to the point that I have bragged about it - it was all slightly miserable as well. Unfortunately, so far it seems as though this side effect is sticking with me. Right now as I write this it is a Saturday morning... earlier than 6am. Who am I??
So anyhow, besides the bogus sleep, I had also noticed some abnormal body aches, a weird reaction to being on a treadmill in a warm gym (slight nausea, but also more of like a panic feeling), and then while at work I had about a split-second of heartburn one day.
My period was due Monday, December 10th but was a no show. I didn't get my hopes up because sometimes it can arrive up to a week late. Wednesday (12/12/12 - now also known as my most favorite day of all time) was a vacation day from work for me. So something inside me told me to take a pregnancy test that morning. I guess I figured that if it were negative I could just kinda mope around in private... but if by God's great grace it were positive, I could have an entire day to celebrate and not worry about spilling the beans to the first person at work who asked "How's your day going?".
And that's when this happened:
We're not telling anyone yet. Our families will be the first to get the news on Christmas. Our first doctors appointment is December 31st, which I hope will give me the confidence to tell all my besties that night at our New Years Eve party.
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